Well, the "sit probe" came and went. It went relatively well, all things considered. The orchestra sounds great and Ted has done a fantastic job. Might I also add that this is the youngest, most beautiful professional orchestra I’ve seen. It’s a little distracting. They are all so damn good looking! Glad they are behind a scrim so they can't upstage me!

Anyway, problems arose with the sound cues in Send because they are so very tricky. Some of them are so specific that if they are missed or late, it can throw the entire orchestra off and can literally stop the show but not in the good way. There were more than a few tense moments, but I am happy to report that it looks like the "issues" have been cleared up...

...Unlike my skin however, which has reverted to teenage status since I arrived. I cannot believe how much I am breaking out here. I expected to have more beautiful skin because of the humidity, but this is bogus! Maybe I should ask the orchestra about their beauty secrets. Maybe I should try Proactiv. Hey, P. Diddy uses it, so why can’t I, right? Too much information? Sorry, back to the opera…

We finally got on stage and into costumes and such. Remember how I said that this was my favorite part of the rehearsal process? Not so much this time. Oh, don’t get me wrong, it was what it should be: confusing, informative, slightly disorganized, and, at times, very frustrating. Even Lonny and I have had some really tense moments. But that’s what I love about working with him. He pushes me so hard. He never says something is good when he knows that I can do better. Good enough will never do. Yet he is always there to work through the problem together and the first to celebrate when we find the answer. I guess I am also used to sharing this experience with other cast members and I am finding it to be a different dynamic with just me.

Also, I think I’m really starting to get quite nervous about this whole endeavor. This was a project that I went into because I loved the piece(s) and I love a challenge. If a project excites and scares me, then I know I need to do it. But I really have no idea what is going to happen Saturday/opening night. There is no preview period in opera, meaning you get out there for the very first time in front of a paying audience and that is it: it’s open. The wonderful thing about a preview period is that you get to learn from your audience — you take that preview time to have the audience tell you what works and what doesn’t; you get to rehearse during the day and try something new that night; the cast begins to take the reins from the director and "play" with the piece and the audience, but this happens all during a time that is still somewhat protected from critics. Official critics, that is. (Chat rooms and message boards? I won’t even get started on that subject. That’s a whole other bottle of wine.) All this is to say that I may fall flat on my vocal cords or I may do okay. I just have no idea, and that is a frightening prospect for me. And because it’s "OPERA," I sometimes feel like the Far Side cartoon where an elephant is seated at a grand piano on a stage before a large audience, his eyes filled with fear. He’s thinking: "What am I doing here? I can’t play this thing! I’m a flutist, for crying out loud!" Well enough said…

But if I don’t go out on a limb and really stretch myself as an artist (whatever that means), I won’t grow. I guess that's why I am here. I’m just going to age about 40 years between now and Saturday night is all. Small price to pay, right??

Short entry this time. Just wanted to jot down what was on my mind today. Salvation is on the way in the form of my voice teacher, Arthur Levy, who arrives tomorrow, so I guess I can dump all of this angst on him. Poor Arthur. By the time this is put online, he will already be on the plane whirling his way to yet another neurotic soprano. I wonder how much I have aged him...well he doesn’t look as if I have. He has flawless skin. Maybe I’ll ask him his beauty secrets!

More after the big final dress rehearsal on Thursday.

Let’s see…had my famous salad today (chicken, strawberries, blue cheese and sesame ginger dressing); toast with peanut butter, but alas no wheatgrass from Jamba Juice. They were sold out.

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